Getting over it and trying to find some Christmas spirit....somewhere...

I seriously need to get over it. I have been thinking non-stop about all those moms who seemingly have everything together. You know, the ones who have their hair did and makeup on...and cute clothes. I look down at my stained shirt and scraggly hair, and the 6 new wrinkle dents I've gotten in the last two years, I think WHY do some people look so much younger and fresher than I do?? I guess it's genetics or just people being able to ask for help, better lists, being able to let go of stupid stuff, or maybe just all of the above. I feel like a complete failure every single day and I'm so scared that I'm not doing the best job at shaping these two little humans the best way I can. I guess everyone sucks from time to time and what I really need to do is give myself a break. No one is perfect, even though it appears so. One thing I really need to do is give myself some ME time. Find the things that make me happy and do my best to do them well. That might be the key to my self acceptance, my release, my "perfection." On a different note.... Being that you girls and I have been sick for a collective three weeks now, I'm surprised that I have been able to get ANYthing done. I, of course, have ideas shooting out of my head at all times so there were a few that had to be lasso-ed back for a later time. The worst thing ever is having a sickness plague a house during the holidays. What is super surprising to me is that I was able to decorate for Christmas, and do the things I had already planned before that disgusting virus took us over. Go me. Only problem is that I'm SPENT. I was able to run for the first time since Thanksgiving week, but I'm just SO tired. Y'all are feeling fine, playing as usual. We went to the doctor on Monday and Hayden was cleared of her Croup and her ear infections, thank goodness! I was so worried about you for days with your barking and having such a hard time breathing. I hope we never go through that again. Natalie is STILL coughing. Doctor said she's fine, and that it just takes time. SO doesn't feel that way!! I want all of it gone, gone....GONE. Last year Natalie threw up and was sick on christmas morning and now we are dealing with this. I'm hoping that everyone is 100% healthy this Christmas because it just breaks my heart when they aren't feeling well on a normal day. I don't want there extra special day ruined by some nasty school house bug! :( I wish I could take Natalie out of school next week and just keep her in the bubble of our home, but that's just, well...weird. I'm trying to find the holiday spirit by watching a Christmas movie a day and listening to Bing Crosby as much as possible. The older versions of all my favorite Christmas songs are the absolute best. I love this holiday so, so much...I always have. I remember begging my mom to get the decorations out as soon as we got home from my Granny's house on Thanksgiving (she always had at least one tree decorated and lit for us). Now with my own kids I'm always striving to make their house a wonderland of santas and snowmen. The holiday means different things to different people. For me it's the feeling of coziness and warmth on Christmas Eve. The family togetherness and laughter, soft christmas music, twinkling lights. I've felt that way since I was a kid. Now I can add my girls' excitement to the mix, eagerly listening for Santa's sleigh bells. It's a special night...and I think, I just found a little bit of Christmas spirit in all my memories, past and pressent. :)