Seems to never end...

The "sickness" seems to linger tooooo long. I hate that Natalie has been fighting her symptoms for 8 days now (not like she seems to be fazed) and Hayden for 6 days. I sat in a steamy bathroom with her for about 15 minutes with vicks on both of us and it seemed to work a little, but 10 minutes later it all started "runnin" again. :( UGH. I was just telling my sis-in-law how I am just so paranoid and want to fix it when they are sick. She gave me good advice, "you know you can't fix it, you just have to let it run it's course." So simple and total common sense, but all I can consume myself with is "get better, get better, get better." I can't help but feel a piece of me hurting when things aren't exactly "perfect" with my little ones. It's dumb, I know it...you know it...we all know it...but, it's just how I'm wired. I am only supposed to have two kids, I know that now. I think one more might cause my head to explode. I love my little monsters so much but sometimes it feels like consumption overload. Maybe that doesn't make much sense but sadly it does in my mind. Ok, BREATHING. :) I'm a good mom, really I am. I think being neurotic before motherhood set me up for some interesting episodes. :) Hayden is so cute, regardless of being sick. She is getting so fancy with her walking. She is fast and can turn around and keep going. She loves to come into the kitchen when I'm in there and watch me. I think she is really digging her new found freedom. I'm so proud of her for picking herself up when she falls down. There is whining but it doesn't last too long. ;) My little jitter bug still loves music and dancing SO much. She will come from any room or corner of the house when she hears music...it's too awesome for her to miss! :) Natalie is still learning the "sharing" thing with her sister and others. It was kinda hard this weekend but she eventually came around. She is running and loving to dance too. She's so creative with her drawings and her building. I know she is going to be a cool artist and a reader. There is a huge attachment with her and things she finds cool. She will hold and take the "toys dujour" wherever we go. It's funny but also bothersome when friends come over and want to play with them too. :( It's kinda sad when I know she loves these things SO much and has this honest and intense concern for them when someone else wants to play with them. I don't think people really understand how hard it is for her to "let go." She is only 3, but also I think she has an extremely caring soul. I feel myself as a little girl come back when I witness certain things Natalie does. It's like my little girl is the same as Natalie. She worries, she cares deeply for her friends (at this time that is her stuffed animals), and needs to have things a certain way or gets really upset. Um..that's so me. I am bitter sweet about that because it hurts to love this much, but at least I understand her and can help her through it. I know Natalie is me in some ways, and Hayden is me in other ways. It's kinda bizarre seeing yourself split into two people. I think you see yourself more clearly when that happens and notice things that you hadn't before. When you look at it that way, it's a very good thing for personal growth and understanding. Maybe a workout will ease my tension while my girls get their rest. Love you my little sickies!! I am doing whatever I can to make you smile, giggle and wiggle your toes. That will for sure push those yucky germs away!! :) XO!! Mom

Sickies

The girls have been sick for days. Natalie started sneezing like crazy on Tuesday and I thought, "oh no"...sure enough..sick. I waited for two days for Hayden to start showing the signs and I thought for sure she was in the clear when it all happened. Nothing worse than your kids being sick. I worry about fever, stuffy noses=not breathing well; coughs and all that comes with it. The girls are on the mend and feeling better today, still snotty, but better :) Everyone has slept so well during the "sickness" so I can't complain too much. This weekend I made tutus! It was so much fun and it rekindled my love affair with crafts. I bought some new things to try for jewelry design and started making/assembling headbands. Since my hair is short short short, I have come to love the feminine touch a flower or stylish headband brings to the look. :) You COULD say I'm addicted to them! Crafts give me a mental escape. Hayden and Nat play around me, and I just zone out enough to feel my juices flowing, but still be aware of what they are doing. Tutus were super easy and a total blast! Check out you tube for the super easy tutorials on "no sew tutus"...easy and cheap!

Hayden is WALKING!!

YAY!! My baby is walking!! I was washing dishes last night and my hubby says, "Hayden's taking steps!" For the last couple of days she has been taking one step here and there, but I never expected her to get brave and venture out! :) The girls went to bed a little later last night than usual because we just wanted to watch Hayden. :) Natalie was sorta unimpressed, and I think a little jealous. She's still happy for her sister, but made sure to mention that she walks too and that Hayden wears her baby clothes. ;) I wasn't sure Hayden would remember that she walked this morning, but as soon as I set her down she started tottling off. :) She kinda walks like her sore mommy. haha...stiff-legged. She moves SO fast, makes me nervous but she seems to know how to balance and falls on her butt. It's so bitter sweet and surreal to watch your baby take off walking...but I'm so proud. She has been walking toward the TV to dance to the music this morning, then over to their play kitchen. I joikingly told her during dinner last night, before she started taking steps, that she had two weeks to work on it so she could keep up with all the other kids at her birthday party. Apparently, she took me serious. ;) SO AWESOME! I now need to get all my cabinet locks out. SO proud of you Hayden!! XO, Mom

I DID IT! I DID IT!!

So, girls...yesterday Mommy completed a half marathon!! That is precisely 13.1 miles!! WHAT!!??? I thought childbirth was rough...this run blew that pain out of the water. It was literally the hardest I have ever worked at anything in my life. I should've trained better but as far as endurance goes, I had a LOT which was surprising and pretty cool. If only my legs had gotten the memo. I always have this pinching in my left foot, which was killing me by mile 4. Eventually I could talk myself out of the pain and keep on keepin' on without very much discomfort. Around mile 9 I started feeling the REST of my pain. My legs got heavy and the "grandpa shuffle" took over my lovely lady jog. :( I could barely lift my legs...and I had 4 miles to go! I drank my hydration drinks and felt good with plenty of energy. Did I mention, though, that the entire course had hills of plenty??? I didn't train with hills because I...AM...DUMB. :( Anyway, by 11 miles I thought "ok, I'm home free"...but it got so hard on my back and hips AND legs that I had to stop countless times to stretch. I know that had to add to my time. I started bargaining with myself to push push push. I thought, "I either lay down and die right here or I finish this b*tch." So because I ain't no quitter, I kept going. It was horrendous pain, and it was sucking the awesome energy that I once had an abundance of. :( Soon I saw the Capitol building where Aunt Lynda and I had first started this journey and things were looking up for my hope and determination. I used EVERY OUNCE of my will power to PUSH me through the last 600, 400, 200 yards. I saw that yellow stretch of fencing curving me into the finish line and I turned on my jets, even though they were powered by fumes alone...and crossed it at 3 hours and 15 minutes. It was 16 minutes MORE than my goal, but I am proud of myself regardless. My point of this race recap is to show you guys that I am a woman of my word...I also have this awesome determination. After all, if I was a quitter, or lacked any kind of strength, I wouldn't have either of you in my life right now. I signed up, I paid, and I did it! The mind is SO powerful. I was able to talk to my body and make it finish. No matter how many times it told me to quit, I squeezed a few more steps out of it. It was emotional and SO hard. It was hard to not listen to my body because that is what you are supposed to do. But I think that theory goes out the window when you are running loooooong distance. :) It was SUPER cool to have Aunt Lynda there poundin' the pavement with me. :) WHAT a JOURNEY to share with my FAVORITE sister-in-law and friend. :) I wish you both and Daddy could've been with me, but you are so little and no way would that have been a good time. Having you hang around the race grounds waiting for mommy to crawl to the finish! ;) Natalie, you made me two pictures of me running and you were both SO happy to see me and hug me regardless of my race funk. ;) I love you and while I was running, I thought about how you would know how awesome your mom was/is in all things that she does....well, awesome for trying my best....my VERY best. :) I DID IT!!! :) All things are possible...for me...AND for you. XO, Mom

Cause and Effect

I'm sitting here watching Hayden play and she is putting a small object into the hole of her sister's desk and watching it fall through. Over and over and over.... :) Two days ago she started standing up from the middle of the floor, unassisted! We also started holding her hands so she can walk and she goes so fast, I'm worried she's not really understanding and paying attention to her balance. :/ BUT, I guess she will figure it out! We got out Natalie's big rocking horse yesterday and Hayden didn't know what to think about it! It is like a big stuffed animal, so she has been slowly getting used to it. She rode it a couple of times happily with her little closed-mouth grin, but was ready to get off not too soon after she got on. Hayden is sort of the nurturer of the two. I thought Natalie would be, but she only does it when it's fun to her. Hayden shares her food with everyone. She "talks" to her sister when she gets hurt and cries. In the bath, she tries to wash her. It's so cute, and all probably just copy-catting mommy, but it's still nurturing to me. :) Hayden is sort of a quiet soul, with a bit of a wild side. She will voice her opinion...LOUDLY, but for the most part she is very independent and quiet. She loves to "pop" her shoulder and swing her hips while dancing. I swear she is going to throw out a hip! It's wild. I love it. Natalie is starting to get her independence, but she definitely still needs her mommy. :) She was cleaning up her toys and books in her play room and said, "UUUUGH, I'm tired!" (wasn't too tired when she was making the mess!)...then she took a "break" and I had to tell her again to finish cleaning up so we could go eat lunch, "I think you can do it, Mommy"...WHAT?! Yea, that didn't go over well. Let's just say she finished it up in a hurry. Sunday I am participating in the Austin Half Marathon. I'm anxious and ready for it to be OVER. I've been focusing too much of my energy on it. Mostly just the stress part. I haven't trained as well as I should have so we will see how it goes! I always have extra energy during those "races." I was going to take my whole family, but it's too early in the morning and will be a little too long for them to just hang around. :( I really want to see their faces at the finish line but I can't make them go. There will be plenty of hugs when I get home! :) Ok, girls...movie morning! It's rainy and chilly and perfect for The Little Mermaid which Natalie has never seen before! Here we go! Love you!! XO Mom

FLASH!

Yesterday went by in a ........FLASH! I had a few minutes to myself yesterday while the girls were napping, for catching up on shows that only I like to watch. But of course some of that time was spent creating and assembling our Valentine's Day dessert. It was fun, so I'm not complaining. :) By the time I finished that and took a shower the girls were ready to get up. Then I played with them and started on dinner cause they can't go much passed 6:30. I was rushing around...chicken, sauce, pasta (protein packed, thank you!)...and at the last minute I decided to make some of my herb biscuits. I made my plate, set it down...made Nat's plate, she started eating, cut up Hayden's dinner and she started eating. By the time I sat down at the table my biscuits were done! So up again. Got one for everyone...and finally got a chance to eat. While eating I realized, man this is COLD. But then I thought, "how many meals have I had that were actually warm?" What's weird is that I don't even mind. The best part of my meal is seeing my husband and our kids eating and happy. I think about that at every dinner time. Knowing that I took care of them is the best part of my day. We had an interesting day. Natalie thought I said it was "OK" to smear her hands around in red ink from the stamp she got. "Uh oh, I got it on my hands"...Me-"that's ok we'll wash it off"....Nat, 5 minutes later-"Look mom! My hands are playing!" I look over and her hands are RED! Oh man...She thought I meant it was ok to go crazy in the ink! "BUT MOM!! YOU SAID IT WAS OK!" Nice one...on both our parts. SO her hands were stained for a few hours. pff. Then Hayden was having trouble all day with crying and and whining. I know it's the new milk getting regulated in her system and teething on the horizon. My poor girl. Then Natalie left part of the valentine's dessert on her little Dora desk and Hayden went and helped herself before I could stop her. :( She looked so happy but I was nervous about her having sugar and I took it out of her mouth. WHY DID I DO THAT? I had really learned to let a lot of things go this time around...but I guess I got thrown back to Natalie's baby days without even knowing it. Hayden was SO mad at me. That's one thing about Hayden, she wears her heart on her sleeve! She will practically YELL if she is mad or doesn't get her way. On a softer note, she is the cutest dancer. She will swing her hips all around and then bend down with arms out. The signature Hayden move. ;) Don't worry, video to come! :) Ok, interception time coming. Natalie and Hayden are playing together, and that always means destruction. Oh...and I smell something. :( Love you, my little stinkers! :) XO Mom

Happy Valentine's Day!

What a special Valentine's Day filled with new stuffed "friends" (a frog and bear for Natalie and two dogs for Hayden), heart-shaped pancakes and chocolate candy for Natalie AND Mom! :) Natalie got to give her daddy the card she made for him and was so proud of it! She actually kept the secret for a few days too. :) I think my favorite part of the day so far was seeing the look of happy confusion on Hayden's face. All of us telling her "happy valentine's day!" and the presents, she's like "WHAT is all this!?" It was so cute. :) My husband got her to take an unassisted step last night while I was making dinner. I didn't see it happen, but I will take his word for it. ;) My other favorite part of today was receiving a very special card from my very special husband. I can't help it, I love cards and I will want them for every special occasion for the rest of my life. I told him that during one of the first dates and he's never forgotten. Cards are nice for what the author wrote, but they are even more special to me because he always picks the best ones, for their beauty and the way it speaks to me. If that wasn't awesome enough, he writes something so special in them as well. Today's was particularly awesome and it brought a tear to my eye. Just when I start doubting myself he swoops in with the most comforting words of love and appreciation. He is just my best friend EVER and my heart is literally connected to his. :) Natalie and Hayden, I wish for you a partner who is as awesome as your dad. Someone who is not perfect, but perfect for you. Someone who will love with all of their heart and swoop in only for you. :) Happy Valentine's day, girls!! We LOVE YOU!! Here's to a fun day of chocolate and baking and dancing and chocolate.... :) XO, Mom

PPM

Party Planning Mode...in full effect! I can't believe in just under a month Hayden will be a year old! I SWEAR I just gave birth to her last week! Time has really flown by this time around. I felt like it went at a decent pace during Natalie's first year. But I guess since there are two of them during Hayden's, I have much more to do. Sometimes I feel bad that I can't spend that solo quality time with Hayden like I did with her big sister, but I would in turn miss time with Natalie. At least I can take comfort in the fact that this dynamic is all Hayden knows and she's super happy. :) We just switched her to whole milk yesterday. YAY! buh bye formula!! I was never happier to put away the mixing pitcher this morning. Although it was a tiny bit bitter sweet, it's still nice to just poor milk into a bottle. We started Natalie on milk around the same time, so I don't think it matters much to wait until she turns 1 officially. She really likes it and didn't mind a bit. I remember Natalie making a face and looking at the bottle like "what's this?" but it didn't take her long to get into it either. It's still crazy to me how different they have been at this age. Natalie was already in 18 month clothes and Hayden is still sitting steady at 9 months. crazytown. I am wanting her to jump up to 12 months so I can refresh her clothes. I get bored with their same ole same oles just as much as I do with my own threads. I need to wrap this up because Hayden, you are trying to type with me and trying to grab my computer screen. Aside from that you are singing and wanting me to play...so here I come! I love you girls and hoping for a gooooooood day! :) XO Mom

I have no title for this post cause it's a random collection of thoughts. So duh! "Random" would've sufficed. :) Anywho. We went out into the chilly, rainy weather to hit up some bbq for lunch and look for a new rug for our family room. The one we currently have has been laying on the wood floors since I THINK before Natalie was born....so it's seen it's fair share of muddy doggy prints, soda spills, etc, etc, etc. It's time for it to retire to the living room where there is little to no traffic and it can be taken care of and freshened and live out it's remaining years as a Yandle Family Rug, with very little abuse. :) Our new rug is similar in texture and size but a lovely, lighter color to add to my current "brightening up" theme obsession. I know, I know, lighter colors show more wear and tear including spots and drips and dirty paw prints (hey! I'm a POET! ;)). I'm hoping the scotch guard helps with that....but if it doesn't...OH WELL! My rug, my business. :) Here's the little helper as we tote the the new addition home.

And the little side kick laughing at her big sister!

We got home and I immediately took the girls upstairs for nap time. I asked Natalie to go potty and then go wait in her room for me. I put Hayden down and changed her diaper and grabbed a couple of toys, and a monkey for her to mess with while she settles down for sleep. I turned on all the noise killers and gave her a kiss and ventured off to Nat's room. Natalie got her "nap wear" on and found a toy and a book and laid down. I turned on her noise killers and gave her a kiss and off I went. I exhaled, as I always do, when I shut her door. Meanwhile, I still had to pee and needed to since our 1st errand location. My point of this paragraph is that mom's sometimes shut down everything just to make sure their kids are taken care of. It's such a bizarre feeling when you realize..."oh yea, I have to pee"....isn't it? Anyway, the girls being taken care of is the best part of my day. I like knowing that they had a good poop, were fed a well balanced meal, and a good amount of stimulation/activity, and are resting comfortably in their beds. Whether it's night time or nap time, that feeling is wonderful and completely fills me up with happiness. Being a mom is the single HARDEST thing I've ever had to do in my life and I'm not even close to exaggerating that statement. It's the truth. BUT, at the same time it's the most gratifying thing I have ever done. I have bad weeks and I have great, awesome, fantastic weeks. All of us moms and dads are the same and it's all about growing and learning from the bad weeks and feeling SO grateful for the good ones. Yesterday was Hayden's 11 month birthday. I still am in awe of this child. She LOVES to eat and as soon as the food is set down in front of me...she starts whining, clawing and grabbing for it like a caged animal! haha...hilarious. Last night she ate pita bread, some veggie burger, the bun, amongst other things. She also will kiss if you ask nice and lays her head on my leg or on the couch and look up with big puppy dog eyes. I say "awww, sweet baby" and she does it again. :) She knows how to play the game. ;) She also laughs whenever we laugh. Doesn't know what's happening, doesn't know what we are laughing at...doesn't care. haha...too funny. Natalie, you...crack...me....UP! Your drawings are absolutely the best and sometimes the highlight of my day. A couple of days ago you drew a picture you said was of mommy...but then you ran into the room saying, "I'm scared!!" I said, "of what?" you said "of the scary mommy I drew...the teeth are scary" So I went over to look and you were trying to draw mommy's smile but made a bunch of pointy teeth! :| So I erased it and drew a happy mommy, which you loved. Then today you drew yourself (on the right) then drew daddy. You went to tell him and he asked "did you draw Hayden?" "NO!" you said. He told you to go draw her and you said, with reluctancy, "ooooo...k." THIS is the finished product: Notice the baby sister squeeeeeezed in next to daddy? It was as if you were telling the story of how you REALLY feel. Classy, Natalie...real classy. ;)

Man, I just love you two! You are both so sweet, so curious and so funny with just enough differences to make you individuals. My wicked little monkey, Hayden and my crazy little cautious butterfly, Natalie. You both are unique and beautiful and make my heart happy. :) LOVE YOU!! XO, Mom

Knock Knock

Natalie loves telling jokes and has one for me every day. She rarely gets the punch line correct, but it's still so funny. Today's got a little confusing. "Knock knock" me-"who's there?" Nat-"Orange" me-"orange who?" Nat-"don't cry it's just a joke! hahahah" Aaaaah, joke fusion. ;) Gotta love her. Hayden is doing new things. The biggest thing I've noticed is this little personality she's got going on. She thinks everything is so funny and she's very sympathetic and amazed by all things sparkly. She LOVES to eat. I mean it's so awesome she has a happy dance for it. Today she did this little bouncy bend at the waist and stuck a leg out behind her like a ballerina and squealed with joy. All for some cheerios. :) Gotta love her too. ;) You chicas are so funny and crazy and loving. It's a wild mix of everything you are and I love you to bits. Off to go find some new clothes for my growing lady loves! You're welcome. ;) XO, Mom