Sometimes I wish I could get away from it all...just for a few days. And well, you might think this is "not so nice" or not a "lovey dovey" kind of post, it's real...it's me...and it's us. Every day I have this set job. Things change up a little bit from time to time. But my job remains the same. I get up, fix my coffee and veg in front of the computer until it's time for y'all to get up. It's some of the best time of my day. I have no focus, no job to do. It's just me. You will find as you grow into adulthood that we all need some decompress time. I am not ashamed of mine cause I know it's important and it makes me a better mommy to you. If I have an adequate amount of down time, I can play and sing and have a blast with my two best friends. Lately, I've been grinding my teeth in the stress I've built up inside myself. Your mom is constantly striving to be the best at all things. It's for no one else's sake but my own. I know this sounds so bizarre, but it's my own high standards that I have to answer to on a minute to minute basis. I go to bed and rest so easily after I've fed you girls a yummy and veg filled dinner. Knowing you enjoyed every last bite puts my mind at peace. If your rooms are picked up and in nice order, I sleep better. It's this absolutely absurd mindset that makes me grind my teeth. I think I might be slightly OCD. But then I think harder about it and maybe it's just me having this overwhelming want to make sure you are happy and healthy. It shouldn't take as MUCH as effort as I put into it, but I still do it. My whole life is you. I have never been so meticulous, so focused on one thing. The best part about that obsessive compulsiveness is that I am more determined in different aspects of my life as well including finishing what I start. I am a start and drop kind of personality, but after having kids, I have become much more focused and my determination has sky rocketed. Every year of your lives I evolve a little bit more. The problem is that I suffer in other areas. I can't keep my whole life in perfect order and that's frustrating. SO when I say I wish I could get away for a little while, it's so that decompression can help me prioritize. The stress of things that I am not so good at, eat away at me. Whereas I feel like I'm a better version of myself, I still feel like I could use more patience, understanding and my own self acceptance. So here's hoping little bits of alone time (here and there), and stress release add up to help me see the light in all that is me and my beautiful life. :) I Love you!! XO Mom