Happy Birthday, Hayden!

Happy, happy birthday, baaaaaabyyyy! Wow, 2 years! CRAZY. It was LITERALLY just yesterday that you were born. Well, in my mind it was yesterday. ;) I cannot even fathom what life would've been like these last two years without you in our lives. You are the most fantastic toddler ON the planet. Your wit and humor, your love of animals (except birds...not too fond of those), your amazement with new things, your capability to see how "boo-i-ful" everything is, your true little sister identity, your charisma, your giving beautiful heart, and a spirit all your own are all incomparable attributes that make you who you were born to be. I got you a book for your birthday called "I Believe in You" and it's something that many parents, including myself, forget to tell their kids as often as possible. It's about believing in what you learn as you grow to carry you through the good times, the bad times, the confusing times and the awesome "I did it!" times. One thing that should always linger in your is that your Mommy believes in you. I believe in your strength, your kindness, your courage, and your inner beauty to carry you through life's many challenges. I would do anything for you and one of those things is teaching you how to stand on your own, laugh in the face of fear, and never give up on what it is YOU want. (unless it's that second cookie, and well, you're still 2 and you're still not getting it.) :) Right now the things that make your toes wiggle and your belly giggle are: bubbles, painting, movies, books, chocolate and/or cookies, Mommy's bean recipe, pizza pockets, rice, messing with your sister's stuff, your two mini kitty dolls, SHOES, wearing your hair in a pony tail, yo gabba gabba, Caillou, and anything outside. You also burst out in song often. :) We love you so much my sweet, Haydee Bell....and I hope that these two years of your life have been as wonderful to you as they have been for us. Mommy and Daddy and Sister LOVE you more than you will ever...ever....EVER know!!! XO Mommy

More deep thoughts...

I often wonder how you girls will perceive me or reflect on your mom when you are adults. Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough to bring you joy. I am very good with procedures and schedules and making sure you have all that you need, are comfortable and are fed all the healthy foods for your growing bodies. Once in a while I do special things like projects, homemade decorations or pillows for your rooms, and even bake something delish to put smiles on your sweet faces. Perhaps the best way to show love is through actions and apologies. I think I apologize for flying off the handle too many times to make the discipline stick, however. I just can't help but give a thousand kisses and say a million "I love yous" to try to remind myself, and you, that what I feel for both of you is love, love, and more love. In my opinion, I need to work on being more of a "fun mom" that will run around with you MORE, dance with you MORE, blow bubbles with you MORE and all the other things that make you giggle and wiggle with excitement. I do it on days I feel great, I don't do it on days I feel tired and overwhelmed. I need to do it...EVERY day. I am honest, and that hurts, but one thing that never lacks is my need to care for you both in the best and hardest ways possible. I cherish you both for SO many things. Your senses of humor, your different but special personalities, your extreme sensitivities and emotions-so many things wrapped up in two beautiful packages. I am your mom and all I really want from both of you is for you to be kind people who follow your hearts all the way to the biggest dreams you have. I worry, I stress, I lose patience, I get upset, but I never stop loving you both to the moon and back. Whenever you look back on the memories of childhood, I hope you will know that I cared, I tried, and I loved with all that I am. XO, Mom

Runny noses, crooked teeth, terrible twos

So we've had quite a lot going on in the last 26 days. More viruses have found their way to our house...AGAIN. Hayden is coughing like a chain smoker and even though her little tulip nose is drying up, it is still running. I swear for a few days it was like a constant dripping faucet! Natalie had it for a little while and luckily her cough didn't start back up again. My sweet Natalie. You slip on anything. Socks, bare feet, it really doesn't matter...you slip on EVERYthing. :( I wish I could teach you how to watch where you are going, but I myself am not the most graceful person alive. I can knock my hip on the corner of the counter top 4 times a day and I still never learn. :( But anyway, you smacked that front right tooth over a year ago and it never did fall out like the dentist had anticipated. A week ago, you fell and hit it again...and it bled a lot. Then it was just starting to heal, and last night you were doing something you weren't supposed to and fell and hit the table on the way down. OH man...THIS time the tooth got knocked further back. It's not loose, and the gums look fine, just not something you like very much. As i told you it's a baby tooth and if it comes out at least it will grow back in...eventually! :) I love you so much and you are so beautiful, no matter what your teeth look like! :) So that amongst other things....wow. Miss Hayden you are definitely PUSHING or trying to push my buttons. You still don't get 'no' or 'not right now'..."can IIIII???? CAN IIIII???!!" You love to scream in the car how your shoes hurt, because you think it gets you a reaction, or well, it used to. Even when it doesn't hurt, you yell. WOW. I think you suffer from motion sickness too. You've thrown up in the car twice this month. I try to make sure there are snacks and drinks before and while we are driving. I think once you figure out what makes you the sickest, you can help yourself. Until then I dunno what else to do but bring lots of wipes and 2 sets of extra clothes! :( Poor hunny bunny. :( Your birthday is coming up! TWO! Can't believe it! Your invites are ordered for your party, so now I have to get my party planning hat on! :) I am in full on project mode...AGAIN. I feel so guilty but it's mommy's happy time and keeps my moods lifted. That is, however, until one of my projects goes awry. I try to involve you guys in the projects whether it's shopping or helping in little ways that won't hurt you. :) I hope you can learn some things from your crazy mommy. Mainly creativity is in the eye of the beholder. Color outside the lines. Love what you love and do NOT care what anyone else thinks of it! Be awesome, be sweet, be YOU. I love you both so! XO Mom

Holiday Recap!

So Christmas has come and gone and I'm still cleaning up! Y'all had such a fabulous time. The excitement, the joy, the love of it all. On Christmas eve we stayed home for a lovely holiday family party. Granny, Gramma and Grampa came over for a yummy dinner and some holiday cheer. You girls, and well all of us, had so much fun!

Christmas morning was so great! Hayden you were so excited to find your baby hippo and your princess "clip clop" play shoes! You hugged the box with your eyes tight shut. :) PRICELESS. Natalie, you were so excited to see your "boomer sooner" dream lite! YES! :) "How did Santa know???" Well cause you wrote him a letter, silly goose! ;) We let y'all open all your presents from Santa first, then onto opening stuff from Mom and Dad. We want to be special too! ;) It was all a blast and Mom even got a guitar! I'm hoping that when you are reading this you will remember all the songs a strum and sing to you throughout your childhood. Again, I'm hoping I won't give it up...cause it's super HARD!

And Happy 2013 my little loves! May this year be as wonderful as the last few that you all have been in our lives. I love you to the moon and back again. :)

Getting over it and trying to find some Christmas spirit....somewhere...

I seriously need to get over it. I have been thinking non-stop about all those moms who seemingly have everything together. You know, the ones who have their hair did and makeup on...and cute clothes. I look down at my stained shirt and scraggly hair, and the 6 new wrinkle dents I've gotten in the last two years, I think WHY do some people look so much younger and fresher than I do?? I guess it's genetics or just people being able to ask for help, better lists, being able to let go of stupid stuff, or maybe just all of the above. I feel like a complete failure every single day and I'm so scared that I'm not doing the best job at shaping these two little humans the best way I can. I guess everyone sucks from time to time and what I really need to do is give myself a break. No one is perfect, even though it appears so. One thing I really need to do is give myself some ME time. Find the things that make me happy and do my best to do them well. That might be the key to my self acceptance, my release, my "perfection." On a different note.... Being that you girls and I have been sick for a collective three weeks now, I'm surprised that I have been able to get ANYthing done. I, of course, have ideas shooting out of my head at all times so there were a few that had to be lasso-ed back for a later time. The worst thing ever is having a sickness plague a house during the holidays. What is super surprising to me is that I was able to decorate for Christmas, and do the things I had already planned before that disgusting virus took us over. Go me. Only problem is that I'm SPENT. I was able to run for the first time since Thanksgiving week, but I'm just SO tired. Y'all are feeling fine, playing as usual. We went to the doctor on Monday and Hayden was cleared of her Croup and her ear infections, thank goodness! I was so worried about you for days with your barking and having such a hard time breathing. I hope we never go through that again. Natalie is STILL coughing. Doctor said she's fine, and that it just takes time. SO doesn't feel that way!! I want all of it gone, gone....GONE. Last year Natalie threw up and was sick on christmas morning and now we are dealing with this. I'm hoping that everyone is 100% healthy this Christmas because it just breaks my heart when they aren't feeling well on a normal day. I don't want there extra special day ruined by some nasty school house bug! :( I wish I could take Natalie out of school next week and just keep her in the bubble of our home, but that's just, well...weird. I'm trying to find the holiday spirit by watching a Christmas movie a day and listening to Bing Crosby as much as possible. The older versions of all my favorite Christmas songs are the absolute best. I love this holiday so, so much...I always have. I remember begging my mom to get the decorations out as soon as we got home from my Granny's house on Thanksgiving (she always had at least one tree decorated and lit for us). Now with my own kids I'm always striving to make their house a wonderland of santas and snowmen. The holiday means different things to different people. For me it's the feeling of coziness and warmth on Christmas Eve. The family togetherness and laughter, soft christmas music, twinkling lights. I've felt that way since I was a kid. Now I can add my girls' excitement to the mix, eagerly listening for Santa's sleigh bells. It's a special night...and I think, I just found a little bit of Christmas spirit in all my memories, past and pressent. :)

Thanksgiving Week and Starry Christmas!

Oh my girls....you have been sick for over a week now. I don't know why it takes SOOOOOOOO long to leave your little bodies, but now...Mom has it. :( It feels pretty crappy so I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I feel like I'm drowning in green snot and I don't have enough towels to wipe your crusty, red noses! One thing I cannot get used to is the sad whining. Whereas I'm trying to be as patient as a sick mom can be, the whining seems relentless. I know you can't help it and you are looking for extra special mommy time so I'm sorry. :( Starry Christmas arrived on Friday morning looking quite fabulous, as usual. ;) He got Natalie so excited that she woke up at 5:30am to see him! She never wakes up that early...but she came into our room and Daddy and I couldn't go back to sleep! yikes...that was a rough one. She eventually fell asleep on the couch...

Hayden didn't remember him from last year, but she's starting to stare at and talk to him more. "Nigh, night, Starryyyyyyyyyy!" :) So that's cute. Yesterday was a rough one for all of us, so Starry left a message to "Be Good" and remind us all that he is watching and reporting the the Big Guy. ;)

I pulled out all the christmas decorations yesterday, basically to see what all I had and decide on what new projects I wanted to do. I started making our new stockings, and they are turning out so cute! To think I almost threw in the towel on a project I've wanted to do for years. :) Yay for perseverance. :) Anyway, hoping that we all feel better pronto, cause I don't love this right now. XO my little boogies. Mom

Post Halloween

It's been way too long since my last post. Here is the recap of your Halloween! You both were so excited about Halloween this year. :) I had a great idea for Natalie's costume (a super thunderstorm---since you love the weather) but she asked if that could be next year and THIS year be Repunzel. So I went ahead with that and bought her the wig and costume way ahead of my normal schedule (which is very much last minute). I did get to make her crown, so that made me happy. Hayden's costume was pretty simple to come up with and to make. Cookie Monster! I made it super fancy with sparkly tulle and a cookie crown. SO adorable! You even did that cookie monster growl..."nom nom nom nom" fingers in mouth. :) LOVE.

Of course Mommy had to get in on the costume fun! Tooth Fairy was my last minute decision and I had to work fast and furious to get my tutu and accessories made. good thing I had the wig and other things on hand already. :) SO fun! Y'all loved it. Trick or treat-ing wasn't very fun, unfortunately. :( Natalie got so scared by the second house because of the "sounds" coming from the spooky decorations. Crying, frozen solid and eventually knocking over sister. SO...Daddy took you home. You didn't seem to mind too much and actually really enjoyed handing out all the candy. Natalie, you made it known that THAT was going to be your job every year. :) I just want you happy so you can do whatever you want. I will not force anything. I was petrified of Halloween as a kid, but ironically I love it now. Hayden had a blast going from house to house and at the last house got pretzels, so she was in total bliss! She would say "tick teat" and "haaaa halloweeeen" :) Aaaaa-dorable. The Saturday before Halloween we visited our pumpkin patch. It wasn't the "greatest" experience because y'all were sick. It ended up being pretty chilly outside so the noses never stopped running. :( You both had a lot of fun picking out pumpkins, running around, pulling the wagon, so I'm the one who was less enthused...maybe cause I had snot all over my sweater since I forgot to bring a boogie rag! :( Nice one, Mom!

It was great seeing the smiles and hearing the giggles. I love holiday traditions, especially everything we do in the Fall. Sad to see some of it go, but excited for the rest of the holiday season. :) Love you my little girls....always. XO, Mom