Coffee...STAT

Mommy is tired! It rained last night with some pretty loud thunder so I stayed awake "waiting" for either one of your little crying voices to come through your monitors. I basically worried and stayed awake for nothing....my big girls weren't fazed in the slightest. Pffff....here I was scared and you weren't! I do like thunder storms, just not in the middle of the night because the dogs panic and I falsely worry about my girls. :) I asked Natalie if she woke up or heard anything last night, "No, mommy...why?" ha...wow. That thunder was loud....my case in point, Natalie has narcoleptic tendencies. ;) I had to beg myself to wake up this morning. Hayden woke up before Natalie as usual, so my day needed to begin whether I wanted it to or not.

This weekend exhausted me for some reason. I did some laundry and cleared out all of the clothes that Natalie has grown out of in the last year. I felt bad that they were all on the floor of her closet in a box. She needs a big girl closet and her own space to do with it what she wants. It's hard for me to see that she is growing up so fast. :(
I got Hayden a huge storage box and packed all the old clothes in there and put in her closet, which looks like a consignment store now! I NEED to have my girls' room cleaned, clutter free and organized. I can't seem to wrap my brain around doing that to my own room, but for them it's a must. Yea, it's a sickness, but I just feel like if they are all tidied up, they sleep better....although I know it probably doesn't make a difference. I guess doing all that makes ME sleep better. I told you, the sickness. :)

Anyway, it's raining and it's making tired....I gotta drink this jet fuel my hubby made me and hope I can find the energy to do my double workout today. Please oh please oh please....I need it.

Natalie and Hayden thank you for being so wonderfully you. It's the spoonful of sugar that I need every day. :)

I LOVE YOU!!
XO
Mom

Is clumsiness hereditary?

My pooooor Natalie!! She is always bumping into things or falling. I don't know how to prevent it...but I have a feeling it's hereditary. I'm good at finding a wall with my toe or my hip..yea..HIP. :( So she must get some of that from me. She fell on her knee while we were walking the cross walk, scraped her knee with a huge bruise. She was more worried about her doll, Rudolph than she was of herself! Then we get home and she is running around chasing Hayden in her walker...with her socks on. She slipped and fell hard on her face. I really thought she busted a tooth or her nose with all the blood. :( It was her gums that were bleeding and one particular tooth. We think it's all ok, but I was just panicked. Worried that her tooth would fall out, how that would be at the dentist....I just panicked so much that I almost passed out! But I kept it all inside while I calmly tried to get her to stop crying. Being a mom is SO hard. I wish that I didn't have to look into those big green eyes filled with so much pain...wanting her mommy to just take it all away. All I could do was look at her and hold her. I put on Toy Story 3vand made her mac-n-cheese and a side of applesauce...all her favorites. She said, after a while, "mom! I'm feeling better!" If I can't take it away, I sure as hell know how to side track the pain with some real love while it heals. :)

On a lighter note....the girls had so much fun at the swings today! It was Hayden's first time! At first she didn't want anything to do with it, but she saw her sister and I started pushing her and she was golden. :) She was kicking her legs and enjoying it so much.

UPDATE: Wrote this yesterday, so I'm happy to report that as of this morning, Natalie's gums are still black and blue but the swelling has gone down considerably and she says it feels a LOT better. And the tooth is just fine. THANK GOODNESS! :)

The Big Little Things

As I was cleaning the kitchen, washing bottles, giving the girls a bath and ready for bed I was thinking "I do a lot of stuff for people!" It's like mindless cause it becomes routine to care for the ones you love. I hardly even think about it anymore, it just happens....I land in bed and I have to collect my thoughts and try to remember what just happened! It all goes so fast every day. I think about how much time I wasted "relaxing" when I was a single. haha...well, "wasted" is harsh...maybe enjoyed is better. ;)

Since I was a child I had this unbelievable desire to take care of someone but being the youngest in my family, I never really had the opportunity to. As I got older, I seemed to always want to do that for the guys I dated, which they never really appreciated. When I met Eric I changed my thought process in order to not scare him away. But as soon as I fell in love with him, that desire came flooding back! Luckily for me, he didn't mind at all. :) I never thought that I would want to be a mom but being with someone who cared for me right back changed my mind. It's the best thing for someone like me. Through the crying and the whining....come the laughter and the love. Although mindless, it's never with less than all of my heart when I care for my beautiful family.

Girls, as you know, I'm not a perfect mother by any stretch....but I hope you know I've tried to be the best mommy to you that I could be. I hope that the little things that I do carry you through your lives with the knowing that they add up to one HUGE love for you both.

I LOVE YOU!!
XO
Mom

"This is how they do it in China"

Last night when I was helping Natalie brush her teeth, she said, "this is how they do it in China, mommy." She stepped off of her step and then stepped back on. Not sure what that meant...but ok. ;) Then she gave me a "jibberish" word and said that they say that in China. O...K. :) The quirkiness of a 3 year old is priceless.

I felt like yesterday was a "good mom" day. I haven't had too many of those lately, so I'm happy to have felt so great about the day I planned for my girls. First, we had a dance party but Natalie was a little jealous of her sister because I was dancing while holding Hayden and Natalie wanted me to be down on her level...so I tried to spread it out without getting attacked! After the party we painted, well Nat painted and Hayden had her snack and watched. Natalie is so great at painting! She's a budding artist.

After painting we went on a 30 minute walk through the neighborhood, and Natalie walked the whole way! I was so proud of her for keeping up. She had to have a "juice" break half way, but she did so great. I am making it my mission to give her a decent amount of exercise a few times every week and she really enjoys it! After our walk we went to the park and she ran around up and down the slide and even tried the monkey bars and pulled up on her own a couple of times! I was so proud cause she's not that adventurous of a child when it comes to that kind of play, which is perfectly fine...that's just not who she is. I think so much time outside yesterday might have been a bit much considering she woke up this morning with congestion and a sore throat. Boo. :( She is tucked in on the couch...my poor hunny bunny. Feel bad for Hayden cause she's like "ok, get down and play with me sister!"

Hayden had a bit of a grumpy day yesterday. I'm sure it's teething AGAIN cause she is so tired and not sure what she wants. Usually I can satisfy her with something, but she's just not having it. This morning she seems ok, we'll see how things go! I need to find a good moisturizer for her face....her nose seems to always have dry patches. :(

So Natalie, I hope that a mini dance party in a little while will cheer you up....oh and mommy's mini muffins might help too! :) I loves you and your lil sis too! :)

XO,
Mom

Hayden is 10 months old today!

I can't believe 10 months ago today Hayden came into this world. What a complete joy she is! So smart, so beautiful, so kind, so sweet, and yet soooo wicked. ;) What a boring world it would be without either one of my girls in it. Last night during their bath, Hayden was playing with a rubber ducky and leaned over to give it to me, and I said, "oh thank you for sharing with mama!" she did this little excited bow of the head and then reached up to get it back. We shared it a few more times and she squealed with joy, so happy to do so! :) Last night she shared her Mum-Mum cookie with me and this morning shared it with her sister, until her sister accidentally bit her finger. :( yikes...Hayden did NOT like that at all. Having been there before, I agree that having Natalie bite your finger is not cool.

Hayden responds so well to things we've taught her. She sings a little melody over and over while she's playing...it's so cute. She will copy a lot of our gestures. Hands on the head "OH NO" and clapping. This morning when she was sitting in her crib I turned on her mobile and said, "OH look!" with the "OH!" face. Hayden looked at the mobile then looked at me and did her best impression of the "OH!" face. SO cute. I wish that I had a camera implanted in my eye so I could take pics of every thing she and her sister do on a minute to minute basis. ;)

Trying to teach Natalie how to pick out her own clothes. Basically just going to get anything that is pants and anything that is a shirt...we'll work on matching later. She's having a hard time, so I think I need to move her clothes to a more accessible place. Her dresser is tall and kinda old (well it was her dad's when he was a little boy). SO, her bed has three large deep drawers that are filled with toys and blankets. I think I will purge some and move her play clothes to one of them. Aaaaaaaand this was a boring paragraph.

Natalie's daddy got her up today and I heard her say, "daddy, snuggle." SO cute! They are such pals and Hayden thinks her dad is pretty awesome too so that makes my heart soar!

The girls were a little bit crabby yesterday. Hoping that a dance party and some painting will bring them up out of there funk! Mommy took a hip hop class on the Boxee while they were sleeping yesterday and I could use a little more practice! But what a fun way to burn calories!

I love you little girlies soooo much and ready to have some fun today....hope you are too!
XO
Mom

I love making up songs!

So I got bored one night of the same ole same ole songs that Natalie and I would always sing. You know, the twinkle, the spider, the ABC's....so I came up with my own tune that is super musical and the talent just oozes from it. haha....YEA. :/ Can I just tell you that Natalie loves it SO much that she sings it on her own and still requests it nightly....yea...I'm AWESOME. ;)

It goes a little somethin' like this....

"Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood NIGHT, beautiful suuuuun
gooood NIGHT, beautiful suuuuun
gooood NIGHT, beautiful suuuuun....we'll see ya in the morning!"

"He-LLO mooooon, He-LLO mooon, He-LLO moooooooon...
it's GREAT to have you here!"

Catchy, clever and silly. :) haha....I know this will be a song my kids will sing to their kids so it's so special to my heart :)

A new year!!

A new year brings new things! I'm really excited for what this year will bring. Hayden is turning one in a couple months, and Natalie is going to turn 4 this summer! I still can't believe it. Natalie is helping with her sister so much more. It's a relief that she's giving in to sharing. I think she's realizing that all around good things come from her good behavior. Hayden is starting to sing more and more...she's almost got the melodies down. She loves all music and does her little dance and looks towards the music in amazement. TV, stereo, toys....anything makes her wiggle! :) Our friends recently had a baby and yesterday when we went to visit them, he was making his little cooing newborn noises and Hayden just looked at him with concerned eyebrows as if to say, "what in the heck is that??" haha...hilarious. She's so exploratory and crawling everywhere. Now she's into practicing and perfecting her pull ups....I swear she's gonna walk soon! She even climbs on top of and over the top of her pink boppy chair. It's crazytown.

Both of you are growing like crazy but both becoming more and more fun as the days progress. Bath time is so much fun even though Hayden didn't like sharing a tub at first. Now she sits super close to her big sister and tries to wash her hair. :) LOVES it.
Mommy took a break from the wild world of facebook to focus more on you two and on blogging your good and bad days. I want you both to be able to read these entries in a few years and laugh and smile as much as I do. Ok, so sometimes while writing these I cry...but that's just life as a mommy! I have my hang ups and insecurities, but I have to say no matter what you both always pull me out of my funk with a slobbery kiss or a look of pure joy. I love you both to the moon and back...thanks for making mommy's sun come out. :)
XO
Mom