I got up before the sun this morning, without cussing too much, got my clothes on and headed to bootcamp. I was more optimistic about putting my all into it. Just so happens that today was a REALLY tough one. First time in a long time that I've wanted to punch our trainer in the face, but you know...I needed it. One thing that keeps me going is knowing that when my body finally decides to drop the weight there will be these amazing ripped muscles hiding underneath. :) If I can't be a thinner me at least I can see that I'm definitely getting toned. Helps me breathe a sigh of relief when I look in the mirror.
Was re-reading some old diary entries from a few years ago and they were so obsessive....so hopeful and so optimistic even on the bad days. I guess the biggest thing that I took from them was that I have always been so positive, even during the dark days. I never really noticed that before, but it was definitely a revelation. After I put the girls down for their naps I laid down in my bed and looked at old photos and reminisced. So by the time the girls got up I had sort of recharged. Natalie and I painted, and then as Hayden played with me and was grabbing my lips and laughing I was even more recharged. My sweet girls just want their mommy happy. I think they are the crazy and the absolutely fantastic part of my life. The balance is what really matters. Balance, Lori...balance.
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