Reminiscing

I've been going through a bunch of old photos and short videos of Natalie. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that she is going to be 3 years old in like 8 days. It's so bittersweet for me. Seems like she's been in my life forever, like I've never known any other moment without her. I always felt like she was a miracle...I wanted her so bad and never thought she would happen. It was all so amazing and surreal and she changed me the minute I found out I was pregnant. One thing I could have never understood while being preggo was just how special it feels to be a mom. To see your baby look up at you, depending on you to help them with whatever they need. It's a lot of pressure when you look back on the very beginning of their little lives, but while it's happening it seems like no big deal because it all gets done without thinking, just feeling. It's true when people say "I would do anything for my kids." That is a phrase that surges through your veins the very minute your child is born.
Sometimes life gets so crazy and no matter how bad you want every day to be fun and perfect for your babies, it just doesn't work out that way. We are all human and we all have good and bad days. The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that no matter what happens on a day to day basis you always have to try to make each day better than the one before it. Things get hairy when it comes to working on establishing a nap routine for a new baby, making sure both kids have a good amount of stimulation throughout the day, thinking of healthy recipes to feed to a semi-picky child, worrying about b-day parties and the inevitable future....but all that matters is that at the end of the day they both look at me with contentment. Even though they don't understand what Mommy goes through on a daily basis they still seem pretty happy with the job I've done, even on the days when I think I didn't do so great. The feeling the girls give me at the end of a long day presents me with the power to get up the next morning and try it all over again. My hope is that they grow up knowing how much I love them and how important they are to me. I want to be the kind of parent that my kids will feel comfortable talking to. Never to be judged or doubted. Even in what a few people assume is a "subtle" approach it completely effects the way a person deals with adult relationships and forces you to re-think how you communicate. SO, from the get go I am making it my mission to understand my kids' feelings and approach them accordingly. I know that I slip up on occasion and I probably will a few more times in my life, but I always bring myself back to what is really important for them.
I'm not perfect, I'm a mom. :)